A few years ago, I hobbled over to our dinner table. A friend of my wife was joining us for dinner. I was struggling physically and firmly entrenched in my own misery. I was feeling sorry for myself, thinking why me? Why now? 

Normally talkative, I didn’t want to talk, and when I did, it was about MS and what it was doing to me. What it was stealing from me. I had been in that frame of mind for some time. 

After a while, my wife’s friend, Holly, looked at me and said in a kind, thoughtful voice, “you know, everyone is dealing with something. Mental, physical, alcoholism, financial. Family issues. We can just see yours.”

I had been handed something tough that was new to me. I was so focused on my own situation that I forgot that many other people are dealing with tough things as well. Some visible, some not. A brother dealing with cancer. A friend with substance abuse problems. Financial or housing challenges. 

That one comment from Holly challenged my perspective on my predicament. I did not take solace in the fact that others were also suffering, but that I was not alone in facing a barrier. Many people were dealing with adversity. Devastation. Loss. 

Because of my lived experience, I have been able to find a new understanding of empathy. Kindness for what others may be silently going through. Not pity, but a willingness to listen, learn, laugh, share a good cup of coffee, and humbly offer what I have learned through these Substack posts.